autobiograph: The Answer

‘But I never liked him, either,’ I defended my self and my current relationship.

Those monthly fluctuations of my hormones somehow betray me for at least some days each month. On different nights I would be (or feel) attacked by intrusive thoughts, or thoughts I once (or twice) had in the past. Last night, it was the thought of this guy I was close twice almost two years ago now.

He was an experience, I must say. It was the first time I asked God (about him) for signs whether or not he was sent from above (yes please vomit far there, thank you.) It wasn’t that silly at that time. I did receive the answer; or at least I thought I did. Then we stayed close, but never officially a couple or such. He’s very childish, that’s all I remember. I cannot be with that kind of person.

Out of the blue, I thought about The Answer I mentioned. I was thrown away to the past, where I felt that I was wrong from walking out of his life because at that moment God had answered me.

I was grateful that my other self reminded me of that one friend who said, “Well, probably it was the answer at that time. But you’ve moved on now, isn’t it? God would bless you anyway.”

I slept.

I woke up seven hours later just to sleep again.
Two hours later I grabbed my boyfriend’s shirt he left for me to keep, “In case you miss my smell,” he said. I remembered God answered me too seven months ago.


Photo Courtesy: Google, ‘Illustration’


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